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It is now less than 1 month to Baby Girl's due date.

We have names picked out! We have a hospital bag mostly packed! (I should really finish that.) We have her bassinet set up! Niko has been practicing how to help a baby sleep! (So cute.) This is going to happen!

...and while, at 36 weeks, it would really be best for baby to stay where she is for another week at least... I have to confess that if she came a bit early, any time after 37 weeks would be okay with me. Because I am done with this whole pregnancy thing. I know that having a newborn is hard, and maybe in a month I will look back at this and laugh at (or curse) myself through a sleep-deprived fog, but I am ready for that kind of hard instead of this kind of hard.

I'm tired. My pelvis is almost constantly sore. I can really only sleep well lying on my left side, which means my left hip ends up especially sore, sometimes enough that I can't get back to sleep after the inevitable get-up-to-pee in the middle of the night. I don't sleep well. Last night I managed to get about 7 hours, which felt amazing compared with the 4 hours the night before! But I woke up at 5 AM and ... well, just forget about going back to sleep.

I guess other than the constant fatigue, I'm feeling pretty good. That's a bit of a "but other than that, how did you like the play, Mrs. Lincoln?" sentiment, though.

Joe is awesome. He has been taking on so much of the parenting work with Niko. It makes me a little sad because I am missing out on good time with my little boy - and he misses me too - but there's just only so much I can do, and that "so much" has gotten a lot less in recent weeks. This morning, I was getting Niko up, which he didn't particularly want to do (I hear ya, kid). He said, "I just need to lie down and close my eyes for a bit. Mommy lie down too!" Even though we were already late, I did... for a few minutes... and it was the best part of my day so far. What a sweet kid.

I'm really lucky in my supportive workplace and manager, too. My pattern most days is now: drop Niko at day care, work in office until about 2, go home and take a nap, work from home, pick Niko up, dinner etc., work from home until bed. The nap is key to surviving the rest.

This little baby is not getting as many posts as Niko did. Pregnancy is not a new thing this time, it's known territory. And I have less time - but do have some time right now!

Baby Girl is now 21 weeks - I'm officially in the second half of this pregnancy. We had our 20-week ultrasound last Friday and all looks good! Between that and the early genetic screen, all signs point to Healthy Baby. I am so very happy about that.

Plus, we got to see her cute little profile.

Look at that little nose! (And, much more importantly, that healthy spine, etc.)

Generally, I feel good - energy is good and so on. I need more sleep than non-pregnant me, but that's okay. A big ol' body pillow is helping with some of my sleep issues, and eating more bananas and drinking even more liquids seems to be helping (fingers crossed) with the charley horses I was getting at night. I do hope to have another higher-energy day soon, because I have some fabric I would like to put up to cover the walls in the basement (which is becoming a much more acceptable and fun space, with the radon taken care of, floor coverings added, and a dehumidifier installed).

I feel this little one moving a lot - have for quite a few weeks now. (I guess the placenta is toward the back, which makes me much more sensitive to her movement than if it was in the front. I have no recollection where Niko's placenta was.)

We are thinking about names. It's always hard to pick a name, but we have some decent contenders. Of course, her name may end up being something we haven't thought of yet.

I'm excited to meet this little girl! I wonder if she will be born on schedule (Jan 6).

My mom reminds me that I have not posted publicly to say that my son, Niko, was born on June 7th at 7:05 PM! And there was much rejoicing.

Time is flying! I can't believe Niko is one month and two days old already. (See, time is flying so much that I didn't even get around to writing this on the appropriate day.)

Some photos of his first month are here.

Although rumors of his sleeping through the night are greatly exaggerated -- I have to wake him up every 4 hours to eat -- we are blessed with a very good, easy baby. Niko is healthy, which is the most important thing. He is growing well, and eats and sleeps well. I am so grateful that nursing came easily to both me and him.

At one month old, Niko has learned to tolerate baths, especially if they are a proper bath and not a sponge bath. Often baths include screaming, but not last night! Very exciting. He has also visited both of his parents' workplaces, and visited both Grandma Colette's house and Aunt Caly & Uncle Scott's house a couple of times. He likes walks, both in the pram - in which he has visited Target several times - and in the Snugli. The latter made it so much easier for us to all attend CONvergence. There, Niko cosplayed as a very young Misfit and as Toby from Labyrinth. He lifts his head up frequently and pushes up, both while being held and while lying on his tummy. He has learned to entertain himself by waving his arms and legs around while lying in the bassinet or on a blanket on the floor, and seems to like to play like that at least once a day. Still, most of his time at this point is still spent nursing, having his diaper changed, or sleeping. We enjoy the awake and alert times, but also cherish the snuggly sleepy baby times. We have found swaddling him to be immensely helpful - gently restraining his arms really helps him calm down when he gets fussy. He has grown out of his newborn clothes already - I found myself wistfully sorting through them and rotating slightly larger clothes into his wardrobe instead of the newborn sized items today. But because we're so smitten with our little guy, every time we look at him in a new outfit we find ourselves exclaiming how cute it is - yes, both of us do this, even though Joe couldn't have cared less about baby clothes before.

Surprising no one but himself, Joe is a very good dad. He continues to work at his main job at VSS, from 9 AM to 1:30 PM. He took off from his evening job for the summer, giving him more time with our little family in the afternoons and evenings. Joe is very good at rocking or soothing Niko, and really enjoys hanging out with his son. It's fun to see the baby turn his head to follow either Joe's voice or mine - he likes to hang out with us, too!

We have enjoyed Nana Nancy's extended visit with us, which ends on Thursday. She has been able to be with us for the entire first month of Niko's life! It has been so very helpful to have another adult around to help rock him, soothe him, change him, and also do laundry and other needful things. I've been able to squeeze in a little more sleep thanks to her, which is great because that sleep only comes in 2 or 3-hour chunks for me at this point. And it's been nice for me to have another adult around to have adult conversation with... something that I would otherwise be missing in the extreme.

I continue to recuperate from delivery. My recovery is generally going well. I was amazed that I lost almost all of the pregnancy weight immediately. However, I have a long way to go in rebuilding my abdominal muscles and knitting them back together where they separated during pregnancy; and work to do yet on the recovery of my pelvic floor muscles. Slowly, slowly.

I'm very grateful for friends and family who have been supportive thus far, coming by to visit or with meals - and I hope to see more of you all in the next six weeks or so. It will be hard to say goodbye to my mom. Although I love Niko dearly, I do need adult interaction too! So please be in touch.

As I said in my last post, it's been a really intense and difficult time lately: a time of life and death and momentous things. It's been challenging to process them all simultaneously.

In my last post, I talked about death... so this post is for life!

( Life! )