(no subject)

[figment]

All of those years of living in the Muslim world, and today is the first time I've ever had someone refuse to shake my hand on religious grounds. It was as politely phrased as it could be, but it still kind of threw me.

Comments

[fayde.livejournal.com]

Just curious, on what grounds?
Were you:
a) the opposite sex so it would be inappropriate?
b) a woman and some reason therein?
c) not married?
d) left handed?
e) I can't think of anything else.

[birdfigment.livejournal.com]

I believe it was a) - which also means b). I don't think he knew that I am not married, and I'm right handed, so c and d are out.

[fayde.livejournal.com]

I know you are right handed, but I'm left and so my worries are still valid. ;)

[birdfigment.livejournal.com]

I think left handed shakes are okay. But not left handed eating!

[rosencrantz319.livejournal.com]

What were they worried about christian cooties?

[birdfigment.livejournal.com]

Girl cooties.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

Finest kind.

B

[whitefox77.livejournal.com]

Wow, that usually something I try to get...

[lexinatrix.livejournal.com]

I think I picked up a hesitancy toward offering a handshake in my anthro studies. My first inclination is a sort of nod/bow, where I lean toward the person. I tend to pause until a hand is proffered, unless there seems to be a bit of an awkward pause, then I offer my hand. And that clashes with Western traditional etiquette, since (in theory) men shouldn't offer a hand to women; women should initiate a handshake. (Or at least, that is what I was taught by my very proper Aussie grandmother.)

[birdfigment.livejournal.com]

Although I am not unfamiliar with this concept, I've never had to use it before; I got used to the professional-woman-shakes-hands thing instead (different culture, hmm?). I don't know. Maybe family friends are exempt from this? Or maybe the gender-touch-restriction is only found among certain sects of Islam, whose members I never interacted with? It's a mystery.

[minnehaha.livejournal.com]

I had a similar experience with a Muslim woman at a UN-sponsored conference in Geneva a couple of years ago. She was very polite about it.

B

[dreamsewing.livejournal.com]

I've found the western modified Japanese bow to be the most comfy, as it does not force physical contact, acknowledges the other person with out having to necessarily speak, and in Europe also triggers a cheek buss if the other person is so inclined.
Old fashioned I guess, handshaking to me is so martial ( Yes! I have no knife in hand!) and also distancing somehow ( someone not close enough to embrace) especially everywhere else beyond US/Canada/UK and Germany.

[jodi.livejournal.com]

quite a few men at the night school at which i teach do not shake hands. it is 99% somali there and they tend to be extra conservative. i am not a natural handshaker so i don't notice it so much as i should.

[purple-cow-0206.livejournal.com]

I have to say, I've never had that happen myself, and I just had two groups back to back that were Muslim, Indonesians and Moroccans. *shrug* Good to remember for next time.

Huh.

[buccaneer.livejournal.com]

When I lived over in Highland I got that a lot from the Hassadim/Lubbovitcher crowd- physical avoidance, that is, but from them, even the men. I'm surprised you ran across it only now, in DC though- on one hand, it makes a tad more sense as there are more "viz" Muslim folks visiting. On the other hand? Makes me wonder if, perhaps, these days people are more into their faiths and therefore the hangups, in self-defense. What was the context? Professional?