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May. 18th, 2011 09:44 amI've been struggling with feeling overwhelmed, and with a very atypical-for-me lack of excitement about my life. I decided that one of my problems was that I was not giving myself enough time (I know, you all knew this already) so I have been trying to make that somewhat more of a priority.
I also have a strong tendency to schedule stuff, because well, otherwise it usually doesn't happen. But this can result in having a very full day where I have a number of scheduled things that I feel I must do. Even good things can come to seem like obligations, and that sucks.
So I took Friday off last week, didn't tell anyone other than my job, and had a day to myself, where I did whatever I wanted to and didn't schedule anything. It was good. I slept in and went swimming and did some clean-up around the house and read a couple of books and did some sewing.
I have still been busy, especially with friends visiting from out of town, which has occasioned a heck of a lot of eating out.
But I have been getting a little better about saying No. Last night, for example, I went to a meeting for an organization of Minnesota international NGOs. I'm on the Communication committee. So far (this was my second meeting) my work has consisted of making a new newsletter template on Mailchimp. The chair of the committee announced that she needs to step down - which I totally understand - and I managed to not only not volunteer for the job, but actually state that I was trying to avoid overcommitment and would not be able to do it. This is a big deal!
I also declined to get involved with the Fire Collective, because I need another weekly obligation like I need another hole in my head.
I'm trying to keep carving out time for exercise (I got some good walking in on Sunday, and on Tuesday I went to the gym and ellipticalled for a while). And I'm trying to protect my time for myself a little more, and give myself more time to create things. I feel so much better when I do that. And the things I am committed to doing, I am trying to make steady progress on, instead of just having that awful looming vague feeling of "I have to get something done on this but I'm not sure what... but it's huge..."
Anyway, through a concerted effort, and a lot of support from Azure, I'm slowly feeling better. But I'm still feeling... I dunno, fragile, I guess, and may retreat from large gatherings of people or decline invitations more often than normal.
I also have a strong tendency to schedule stuff, because well, otherwise it usually doesn't happen. But this can result in having a very full day where I have a number of scheduled things that I feel I must do. Even good things can come to seem like obligations, and that sucks.
So I took Friday off last week, didn't tell anyone other than my job, and had a day to myself, where I did whatever I wanted to and didn't schedule anything. It was good. I slept in and went swimming and did some clean-up around the house and read a couple of books and did some sewing.
I have still been busy, especially with friends visiting from out of town, which has occasioned a heck of a lot of eating out.
But I have been getting a little better about saying No. Last night, for example, I went to a meeting for an organization of Minnesota international NGOs. I'm on the Communication committee. So far (this was my second meeting) my work has consisted of making a new newsletter template on Mailchimp. The chair of the committee announced that she needs to step down - which I totally understand - and I managed to not only not volunteer for the job, but actually state that I was trying to avoid overcommitment and would not be able to do it. This is a big deal!
I also declined to get involved with the Fire Collective, because I need another weekly obligation like I need another hole in my head.
I'm trying to keep carving out time for exercise (I got some good walking in on Sunday, and on Tuesday I went to the gym and ellipticalled for a while). And I'm trying to protect my time for myself a little more, and give myself more time to create things. I feel so much better when I do that. And the things I am committed to doing, I am trying to make steady progress on, instead of just having that awful looming vague feeling of "I have to get something done on this but I'm not sure what... but it's huge..."
Anyway, through a concerted effort, and a lot of support from Azure, I'm slowly feeling better. But I'm still feeling... I dunno, fragile, I guess, and may retreat from large gatherings of people or decline invitations more often than normal.